What am I?

I am not a blogger, I am terrible at grammar, always have been. I am not great at making stories sound interesting, i do not have a giant vocabulary. I am not rich, I do not live in a fancy house. I am not big at social media, I do not have a ton of friends unless you count my family and mother. My hair and appearance is not always put together. I am not perfect. I am however, human. I AM A DAUGHTER, to an amazing single mother who is my mom and my best friend. I AM A CRAFTER, and even though my husband, daughter, and i live in a 1 bedroom, 900 sq ft apartment and struggle to pay bills I try and make it and everything in it beautiful. I AM A WIFE, we have our fair share of fights and issues, but we always get through together. I AM A CHRISTIAN, i may not be the best christian, i may miss church occasionally, but i love my Lord Jesus Christ and i know he loves me. Last but not least, I AM A MOM. I am new mom, but i strive to be a good one. I am a diaper-changing, laundry-washing, dinner-making, bath-giving, big-time-loving momma bee. I am working every second of everyday and striving to make sure my daughter is happy, healthy and well raised and loved. I may not always have time for a shower and my socks and outfits may not perfectly match, the house isn't always spotless, but i wouldn't trade any of it for the world. I wouldn't trade the early morning Walmart runs, the poopy diapers, the late sleepless nights, the spit-up stained silk blouses or the no me time, because the second I look into that little girls giant sparkly blue-green eyes I know with out a doubt, this is who i am meant to and want to be. I am a busy buzzing momma bee. 

lazy mom confession

Watching TLC's Hoarding: Buried Alive, I have come to the conclusion that i might be a slight hoarder, or at least one in the works. Is my home unlivable? No. Is my life completely overwhelmed with stuff? No. Am I somewhat disorganized and do i tend to hold on to things of no value or need? Yes. I have realized in my last 2 hours of vegging out on the couch, watching this eye opening and somewhat disgusting show, that it is time for a major lifestyle change! Staring at the clean, unfolded laundry near the washer and dryer...glancing at the unorganized, overwhelming kitchen pantry and cabinets...being baffled by the explosion of what is supposed to be a closet...I realize this all needs to change before it becomes something worse, much worse. I am not a dirty person by any means, dirt is icky and bugs freak me out! I am however a little lazy at times and a bit, OK a BIG procrastinator. Ever since I was little i would put off things and projects til the last minute, of course i would ace them, but none the less i guess i would get some kind of adrenaline rush of some sort. I felt as though i produced my best work when i would be in a crunch. Well procrastination is all fine and dandy some times, but when it comes to simple tasks such as putting up the laundry, procrastination can turn into something bigger, pretty much in Lehman's terms laziness. Yes, I use the excuse "Zovia was fussy all day! I didn't have time, now it's bed time and i am tired, I'll do it in the morning." I'm sure many people use the excuse as Scarlett  O'Hara says "fiddle dee dee, I'll think about it tomorrow!" Well what about the other wise words by Thomas Jefferson "don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today"? Well I think it's time i started listening to Mr. Jefferson more then Miss Scarlett! Even though I am more like Scarlett in the Southern-Belle-Diva aspect, I think Mr. Jefferson's words were a little more correct in the grand scheme of things, at least when it comes to this. If i don't change my everyday lifestyle now, who knows where it could be in a few years. I want my little daughter to be like i was when i was little; crying if i had a stitch out of place in my clothes, upset when people would come over and mess with my things. Looks like I am going to have to buck up and get organized and set up a plan to keep it that way daily!Well time for me to get off my butt and start organizing!  Thanks Hoarding: Buried Alive for kicking my tired lazy mom butt into gear!  http://www.facebook.com/hoarding

SPLISH SPLASH!

Well i have learned recently mommy's intuition is the only thing to go by! People will tell you the dos and don'ts, but you only need to go by your gut. Its nice to get others opinions sometimes but not all of them are right (no matter how much they think they are) anyways my point is, i took my daughter ZOVIA swimming for her first time this weekend (even though many said not to being shes only 4 months) but needless to say she absolutely loved it!!! She was a little apprehensive at first but warmed up to it right away.

 To think i almost let others opinions ruin this amazing day!

The Big Little Things

I'm going to apologize in advance, because this post is going to be not so short. Well 3 months down as a first time mommy and a lot of things have happened since i last posted. Some good and some not so  good. I will start off with the good, and go on to the bad. Well as of today July 20th our beautiful munchkin turned 3 months old!!! Time is flying by soo fast it almost doesn't seem possible! It feels like just yesterday i was finding out i was pregnant wondering what life was going to be like when the little bundle was here, and now she's smiling and being so inquisitive and growing more and more each day. She finally is in 3month clothes, which i though would never happen, being as how tiny she is. She is still only 10lbs 13oz not quite to the 12lb mark but shes starting to get to be a chunky little monkey. We finally had her pictures made near then end of june...

and she LOVED the camera!!!

On another note this new momma bee had a big scare recently! Starting around July 7th, i noticed baby Zovia just did not seem quite herself. Through out the day she seemed very sleepy and lethargic compared to her normal peppy-happy-talkative-self. I checked her temperature and around 1pm that day it was in the 102's we got it down after cooling her off but it wasn't quite over yet! Off and on for the next few days her temperature fluctuated. I took her to her pediatrician and they ran some test and noticed she had a high amount of blood in her urine. By now this momma was scared and worried! After a few more test and a very  not fun trip to the lab, Dr. Carlson came to the conclusion that she had a possible UTI, he gave her a shot and prescribed an antibiotic and said she would be fine. Shortly after the second visit to the pediatric office i just had a gut feeling something was terribly wrong. July 10th around 11pm she was very whiny and didn't want me to leave her side (which was how she had been the past few days being as how i had to sleep on the couch since she couldn't sleep unless she was on my chest). As she was laying on my chest this time i noticed her whole body convulsing off and on (not her normal cold shivers), i decided no more waiting and hoping so i headed to Cooks Children's Hospital! After arriving around 1am we were seen by the on call pediatrician she wanted to run some test so they hooked up an IV to my poor little angel and poked and prodded her like crazy. The doctor wanted to do a spinal tap to check for possible meningitis and her worry of seizures. They had me leave the room claiming it would be a little traumatic for me as the mommy to watch. Anxiously waiting outside the door in tears hearing the screams of my baby girl and not being able to do anything about it, a million things were rushing through my head from worry to hoping pretty much any mother could guess the thoughts buzzing in my mind. It was over, and the results after long waiting, ruled out meningitis They decided to keep her for a few days to monitor her. They gave her fluids and repeated doses of rocephin. Seeing my baby hooked up to all those machines broke my heart, but i noticed an instant improvement after a few doses and fluids. Zovia even all hooked and wired was her happy smiley self again!

Zovia happy and feeling better!!

Durring our stay the nurses grew to love Zoey and claimed she was such a cutie and explorer for her age, which made this momma proud! Cooks took great care of us and I cant thank them enough!! The final assment by the Doctors was that she had a MAJOR UTI infection and feveral siezures. The Doctors told me to keep an eye out for more sizeures but that high fevers in young babies can cause this commonly. I was so thankful that God watched over us and it was nothing worse! THE POWER OF PRAYER IS AMAZING!! They released her to go home and now 1 week later she is HAPPY and HEALTHY and we are soo BLESSED!! The only downside now is that due to her unexpected expensive hospital visit, this momma bee is now in search of a job, again! Patiently waiting, hunting, and praying I'll find something soon!! For today though, i am enjoying spending my time with my beautiful princess zoey, watching her smile and grow! The finances and worries can wait until tomorrow. (:

An AMAZING Journey

Zovia Alexandria, 7lbs 1oz, 20in born 11:17am 4/20/12

Our journey began on April 19th at 9:00pm. Buzz and I settled into our labor and delivery room Mansfield Methodist where the nurse sweetly checked me and placed the first induction pill into use. We settled and patiently waited around, buzz put in my favorite movie 10th kingdom. Around midnight she graciously checked me and i was dilated to a 1 she put the second induction pill into play. This one hit pretty well, or so we thought. By 3am i was in agony and both buzz and i were begging for an epidural. When she checked me i was at a 3cm dilated and said it was perfectly fine for me to get one. By 4am in came the anaesthesiologist he did the epidural and informed me that it would only relieve some of the pain.  For about an hour i was still moaning pretty bad but it finally kicked in. During that same hour, i experienced my water breaking; which was probably one of the most nasty experiences Ive ever had. Around 7am Dr. Finkie my ob came in and checked me. I was still only dilated to 3cm. She also noticed that during my contractions baby Zoey's heart rate was not accelerating as it was supposed to. She suggested we place some monitors on her to get a better reading. This worried both Buzz and I. I tried to elevate her heart rate by turning on her favorite music which actually worked. The nurses came in and checked and said she was doing good. Around 10:45 am, Dr Finkie reappeared. She suggested that due to the fact that i still was only dilated to a 3 and the baby's heart rate was not where it wanted to be that the best thing would be to get her out immediately just to be on the safe side. Not moments later they were wheeling me out of the room telling buzz to go get suited up. Almost to the OR i was in tears, i really had not wanted a c-section but there was no turning back now it had to be done. They wheeled me in the OR at 11:00am and Dr. French upped my pain medication. Before i knew it i was cut open and buzz was walking in the room. I don't remember much but i remember i could feel everything even though i was numb. I felt no pain but i could feel all the movement they were doing. By 11:17 baby Zovia Alexandria had made her appearance into the world Buzz was in charge of taking pictures.  While they were weighing her and cleaning her up, they were still working on me. Buzz brought my beautiful daughter over so i could see her and oh how beautiful she was i remember kissing her sweet little head and then they had to take her away.

I started to really feel some bad pain. Dr. French told me that i probably was not numb all the way since they had only been able to perform an epidural and it was common. He claimed he could not give me anything for the pain but could give me something to not make me think about it and boy did that work, the next thing i knew i was telling Dr. Finkie how pretty her pink goggles were and exclaiming how hungry and thirsty i was and ready to eat, they told me the only thing they could do would be get me some water flavored water. After that i was wheeled back to the labor and delivery room and patiently waited for my angel to be in my arms. Two long painful hours later after me asking repeatedly when i could see her they finally wheeled her in. Buzz handed me my beautiful 7lb 1oz, 20in long baby girl and i fell in love instantly.

We had some trouble with feeding at first which put both Me as well as Buzz in a lot of stress at the hospital but eventually switched to formula feeding after talking with Zoey's pediatrician and decided that's whats best for both her and I. Well as of today Baby Zovia is 7weeks old almost 2months and it has flown by quick she changes and grows everyday. I healed pretty quick and was released to do most activities 4 weeks after my csection unfortunately last week i had a little scare i started hemorrhaging last Thursday but all is better now. My life truly has been turned around i now work on less then 5 hours of sleep a day, my days include washing bottles, changing diapers and maybe getting a shower in there if i am lucky. I really am loving every second of being a mother every late night, screaming, crying, dirty diaper is worth it. As many say.."motherhood truly is the only place you can experience heaven and hell at the same time"




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<~~~ ZOEY NOW ~~~>

Coming Soon!